It is an important human need to be listened to and really heard by others. This leads to a sense of validation and the experience of being mirrored. From the moment one is born this need is there and it will stay there till the moment they pass.
Although this need is essential to types wellbeing, it doesn’ t mean that one will always feel that other people are usually listening to them or that one will always listen to what others are saying. With regards to being listened to, there is going to become higher expectations when it relates to close friends, family or ones partner, after that there will be to people who are casual acquaintances or relative strangers.
If people in the second team invalidate what one says and even ignore them, it could be frustrating however at a deeper level, one might understand that not everyone is going to really listen to them.
To see the same scenario with the people that you are closest to will lead to challenges; these could be short term challenges which are dealt with fairly quickly. Here, one might feel emotionally disconnected from the other person and then before long, the connection results to how it was before.
This would be the ideal outcome and sometimes what is ideal doesn’ capital t take place. In this instance, one could feel psychologically disconnected and unwilling to return in order to how things were. The relationship could be lost forever or never go back to how it once was.
Within the cases where one feels that will another person is listening to them, whether it is someone they have just met or have known for ages, there will be commonalities. This is person that is open to what you have to say.
Everything from themselves language, to their facial expressions as well as the energy they are giving off will display this. One could share things that could be labelled as taboo, immoral or even emotionally charged and still feel believed.
So when someone has the ability to listen this way, it will lead to two benefits. On one side is what it will perform for others and how they will feel: recognized, connected, understood and know that they could open up about anything.
And on the other side is what this will perform for the person who listens without judgement or very little judgement. People will open up to this person and find it easy to trust them. So it needs to be easy for them to create deep and lasting relationships with others.
What might not happen individuals or what could take age groups, might take a matter of hours for this individual. To others it might be a mystery about how they connect so easily and deeply with others. However , what exactly they are doing is available to anyone who listens in the same way.
The first way is acquainted to everyone and this is when ones awareness is primarily within their head. From this position, the mind will probably come up with all kinds of things and this will create distance and separation. This could include: judgements, interpretations, projections and comparisons.
Some of these is going to be vocalised and acted upon and others will remain inside. This will cause one to no longer be present and in touch with what the other person is communicating. If the other understands, they will notice that the other person has ‘ checked out’ and is no longer at the moment.
When ones awareness is in their particular heart more than it is in their head, they will listen in a completely different method. The separation and distance which is experienced in the mind will not be found here. What there will be is compassion and empathy and not judgements or even interpretations.
And the other person will know that the other individual is listening to them and is actually present. This is due to the heart being free of duality and therefore has nothing to try and do; one can then simply be using the other person.
Intimacy and connection are supported and enhanced through placing ones recognition in their heart; as opposed to creating discord and a sense of disconnection through being in their heads.
A Different Approach
This particular not to say that one shouldn’ t think or that being in ones coronary heart is easy and straightforward. For some people, it could be relatively easy and for others it may be a struggle at first.
One element can be how connected one is to their body and if one has a strong connection, this will be a lot easier. If one has difficulty moving their awareness into their entire body and more importantly into their heart, after that there could be some letting go to perform.
When situations are not processed it can cause a build up within one’ s body; this can consist of trapped emotions and feelings by way of example. And as these are still in one’ s body, it can make it extremely difficult to get out of one’ s head and into their body.
As the body becomes clearer, one’ s mind will also begin to subside and there will not be the same pressure to go into ones head continuously.
One may require the assistance of a therapist or healer to let go of what has built up within them. In order to engage in some kind of self study to help them learn about what is going on within after that.
Prolific writer, thought leader and coach, Oliver JR Cooper lives in the United Kingdom. His insightful commentary and analysis covers all aspects of human being transformation; love, partnership, self-love, and inner awareness. With several 100 in-depth articles highlighting human mindset and behavior, Oliver offers hope along with his sound advice. Current tasks include “ A Dialogue With all the Heart” and “ Communication Made Easy. ”